Beach Music

"...and it was here I had fallen in love with these books and authors in a way that only lifelong readers know and understand. A good movie had never once affected me in the same life-changing way a good book could. Books had the power to alter my view of the world forever. A great movie could change my perceptions for a day." - Beach Music

Beach Music by Pat Conroy is about Jack McCall, a man from South Carolina who moves to Rome, Italy with his young daughter Leah after his wife Shyla commits suicide. Jack McCall is cynical, anti-religion, judgemental, and in my opinion, not very likable. But his experiences are relatable, and this book is his personal journey. Jack is avoiding his childhood and his beginnings, in hopes that he can raise Leah in a poison-free environment. Free from the sickness that is the South, his family, his past. Due to an illness in the family, he finds himself reluctantly going back to America with his daughter and facing the demons of his past. Reading about South Carolina makes me desperately want to go back. I was born there and haven't seen it since we left when I was a toddler, but I want to feel the other coast and the air that I was born in. The way Conroy writes, I feel like I'm there. Beach Music covers the drama and love that comes with family and the pain and pleasures of growing up; relives the horrors of the Holocaust and of times of hardship in the South.

This book is about redemption, forgiveness, adapting, moving on.

One of the last trips I took to Oklahoma was when my sister Rachel and I went for my grandmother Mama Mary's memorial service October of 2009. It was a hard time because her death was so unexpected. We went to her house that we had known from the time we were toddlers. To us, it's always seemed huge, clean, open, quiet, and beautiful. Such a sweet and peaceful neighborhood, all the houses made of brick. I've always loved the narrow staircase in the middle of the house, next to the kitchen, circling up to the upstairs loft where Rachel and I would sleep when we were there. The snow in winter. The big, unfenced yard in the back and the playground nearby that we'd play on, even in the cold when we were all bundled up. The summer we collected all of the rose rocks, hosed them clean, laid them in the sun on the sidewalk only to have them be stolen hours later.

I always had this picture in my mind of Mama Mary's house and what it was to me. And I always imagined that I'd love to have a house like hers someday. I know it was the staircase and the upstairs loft that made us love the house so much; to us kids, it felt like an adventure. My grandmother was gentle and caring, and she read a lot. On this visit, we looked through her bookcase and took a few books back with us. My Dad told me to grab Beach Music.

The incredible thing is that Lucy McCall, mother of Jack McCall and his four brothers, reminds me of my grandmother. And Jack and his brothers remind me of my Dad and my Uncle David. But most of all, the relationships are the same. At 120 pages in, when Jack's mother and brothers are introduced, I noticed the resemblance. But it took a few minutes to make the connection of where I got the book from: Mama Mary's bookshelf. It gave me goosebumps when I thought of it. I want to believe that she read it too, and that it wasn't just on her bookshelf to read later. I want to believe that she noticed the same things that I noticed. It was then that I realized the powers of reading and that it's more than just what these books mean to me. It can be that knowing someone you love was captivated by the same story and the same people. I feel connected to Mama Mary in ways that I didn't feel before.

Maybe someday someone will feel connected to me in the same way: reading the pages that I've read, loving the lines that I also loved.

Cabin in Tahoe

This weekend was so relaxing. As a late birthday gift to me, and just for a vacation, Rachel, Chris, and Mom got a cabin in Tahoe for the weekend. I flew up to Sacramento on Wednesday and we drove up to the cabin on Friday.

It is so cute and cozy, with an outdoor hot tub and deck, fireplace, upstairs loft.

We played Scrabble every night, relaxed in the hot tub, and watched movies. It was so nice and Tahoe is always beautiful. I love this time of year because there's still snow high up on the mountains but it's nice and warm and sunny.

We walked a trail to Nevada beach, went to Pope beach, spent a short time at the casinos. I hit a Royal Flush! Yeah, it was a penny machine, but I got $60 out of it and that's exactly how much I'd put in already.
One of the best parts about being up there in the clear air, besides the peace and quiet, was bringing Shadow with us. He loved staring out the window at the nature. For the first time, I really thought about how it would be to live up there. There was a time when it looked like I was going to move there way back when, but this time I can really imagine it. Fires every night, "small-town" living, going for hikes and enjoying the outdoors.

Now it's back to the hustle-bustle of Southern California. At least the weather's been warm and breezy. I definitely feel recharged and ready for summer. But I do miss the quiet, and my family. :)

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Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalms 51:10

Lost: The End

Okay, I know this is about two weeks late. I know. I wanted to write a short blog right after the Lost Finale aired, but I didn't do it. And to make up a reason for it, I could say that I was letting it sink in, but really I just never did it, just because. I don't really want to get into all the specifics of the episode, or theories, I just want to briefly give my thoughts. Because someone out there MUST care what I am thinking, about the Lost finale, me. Rhonnie.

First of all, I admit. There was that initial moment as Jack's eye closed, that I felt, and many others must have felt, this pit in my stomach of confusion and breathlessness: "Wait. No. What?" But let's face it. That feeling would probably be there no matter what happened. It was an "IT'S OVER" miserable feeling that the whole FINAL episode brought on. It was inevitable. What was also inevitable was never getting all the answers that we desired. As frustrating as it is, writers Damon and Carlton warned us that plenty answers weren't getting answered. We must move on. But..But..But..

After the initial shock was over, I had a second to determine for myself that NO, they were NOT dead from Day one. The island life was very real and they all died when they died. Just like everyone on this beautiful Earth dies. Not everyone wants it, but it happens. And hopefully Kate and Sawyer(and company) were able to live long, happy lives off the island. (Because they're real people.) As Francis reminded me, Kate told Jack, "I've missed you so much," which most likely indicates that she had plenty of time to miss ol' Jack. Which, as other blogs have put it, seems a little sad that she maybe didn't find much else to keep her occupied off the island. But wouldn't you miss someone that you spent the weirdest time of your life with? Running from a smoke monster makes you very close. I digress.

Another scene that became one of my favorites was the Ben and Hurley scene outside of the church. Imagining what their time together may have been like is really sweet. It could have lasted a year or a century. And poor Ben, who still has so many hangups, waits outside the church thinking to himself and working things out. Brilliant. If they settled with this because they were looking for a way for him not to be in the church, because he didn't fit like the others did, they found a perfect way. But in all seriousness, Ben simply is not ready to pass. I love that aspect.

Christian and Jack's scene together in the back of the church was a moving one, and in my opinion, a pivotal one. Christian explains so much in a couple of minutes. Everyone dies, whether it happens before you or after you. You all have created this place to be together once again. This setting that knows no real place in time, it has no beginning or end, and everyone is there at once, although their lives have ended at different "times" on Earth. It's beautiful, and I think, a perfect way to end the show. Life ends, and who do you want with you when it does?

I accept that the island is a special place. Jacob and MIB represented things at times, or maybe they didn't. Maybe if the MIB left the island, the whole entire world would implode, or maybe nothing at all would happen. It's not horrible that everything didn't find it's place. Walt was a special kid, maybe for no reason at all. That bird definitely did say "Hurley." What was that damned statue? What part did Ilana play in all these shenanagans? Where did the numbers originally come from? But most of all, I would like to know why the actor that played Mr. Eko decided to part from the show. He broke my little heart.


The "Flash-Sideways" world can be interpreted differently by different people. In my opinion, it's an in-between. Sort of an "unfinished business" type place where the characters live without knowing the truth, until they are reminded by a very emotional time in their real lives. When they are willing to accept that their lives have ended, they can move on to that better place. In the end, I see it that we are to be people "of faith" and interpret the end as we see fit. For instance, I'd like to think that Desmond was able to get off the island and make it back to Penny and Charlie. But in the end, they all end up together again. It is sort of a broad brush stroke kind of peace, but it's peace nonetheless.

I commend the writers and creators for making something that will forever be a part of TV history. There are people who have spent 6 years watching and loving this show. I watched seasons 1 through 4 a year and a half ago to catch up, so I've spent less time than most, but it was enough to get very involved. And I know that if Lost had gone out with a whimper and wasn't even able to have a final episode (ahem, Heroes) than this would still be an incredible show. Think back to The Constant and how beautiful that was, or the moments of pure SHOCK like Walkabout. Or, how about, Ab Aeterno? I'll never forget that episode. And we were left thinking about different connections, theories, racking our brains for answers and signs. We created this crazy spun-out world based on something that, frankly, never promised us all the answers. And that's okay! Weren't we all left thinking about so much more, like the meaning of life, and the people we have in it? And our purpose? Well, I think that's the point, and I love it. There will be a day, maybe a long time from now, where I meet the people I love most in a beautiful place surrounded by Heavenly light and pass on together with them. And I can't wait to be able to spend that time with Desmond, Penny, Claire, Charlie, Sawyer, Juliet, Jack, and Kate. Because they'll be there with me. That's what the finale really meant, right?

Middlesex & I Know This Much is True

Francis and I went to this really cool panel at the LA Times Festival of Books this year about Time. There were different authors and scientists talking about time and it's relation to different parts of our lives, as tangible as time when we sleep or memory and time, to as vast as time in the universe, and what we know about what it can and cannot do. Entropy and Time. We know time can go forwards, but why not backwards? I must say, these types of conversations don't register too high on my interest level. I appreciate that people dedicate their lives to this science, not because I think we'd be lost without knowing these things, but because their dedication is admirable. Find your biggest passion and go after it full force.

I just have my doubts about how much we need to know when it comes to certain things. The fact that time cannot go backwards, only forward, is something that I'm willing to accept. The daytime sky is blue, grass is (usually) green, and the earth is in orbit. If time travel is limited to science fiction novels it would be fine with me. I guess it's similar to the Man of Science vs. Man of Faith debate. Don't get me wrong, science is very interesting to me, and everyone knows it's important. Without science exploration we might think the world is a square and that the moon is made out of cotton and we'd all still have polio. But I'm willing to have faith that things are the way they are, just because. And although I believe in the old adage that "anything is possible," there are some things we may not be able to do. And I'm okay with that. We're only humans, after all.

I've never given too much thought to psychology. I guess what I mean by that is, I never really think much about the inner workings of the brain, about who we are based on how our genes map us out before we can even speak, neurology. Nature vs. Nurture. It's very interesting but I've never gone out of my way to study it. I am grateful for those that do, because the brain is a complicated bunch of mush. What has me thinking lately about psychology in particular is that I read two books back to back recently with similar topics. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.

Middlesex is a book about Calliope Stephanides, born a Greek girl in Detroit, Michigan. She tells her story beginning with her Greek grandmother and grandfather who leave their homeland due to the Turkish invasion, and are able to survive by pretending they are French to board a ship to America. The kicker: Calliope's grandmother and grandfather are also brother and sister who realize their love for one another just before fleeing their village. They are able to marry on the ship by pretending they met there, and they begin their life fresh together in America, moving in with their cousin and her husband in Detroit.

Eugenides is a brilliant writer, and manages to capture an entire family history before really honing in on our main character, Calliope. Her story is relatable, as she manages to make it through awkward youth, feeling different and out of place. She's tall and lanky and has long, wild hair that she uses as a personal comfort zone. She goes through periods with a girlfriend she meets at her all-girls school, becomes very close with her and begins to develop feelings. Eventually, she realizes that there's something there that is different from others as she continues to feel out of place in her own body. Calliope is a hermaphrodite. The reader knows this from page one, Calliope knows this while telling her family history, but for most of her childhood until her teens, she and her family do not. When she finds out, her world is turned upside down and she doesn't know who she is anymore. Her first person account of what she goes through, from undergoing tests with a doctor in New York, to running away and hitchhiking to San Francisco, make a coming of age story like no other. It's a very interesting take on how a family history can affect a person, and how everyone is different and must carry on the way they feel comfortable.

After Middlesex I picked up I Know This Much is True. My sister read this awhile ago and loved it. It follows main character Dominic through his struggles with his twin brother Thomas, a troubled schizophrenic. The two brothers are raised in a household with their mother and stepfather, and are unaware of their biological father's identity. Dominic, now in his late thirties, hates his abusive stepfather for how he treated his stepsons, but maintains a shallow relationship with him because he is the only father he knows. Dominic feels a constant obligation to take care of his brother, both because he is his twin and because he promised their meek mother that he would. What's interesting to see in this novel is how Dominic, who has a lot of anger, learns to deal with his own demons. He's always been the "normal" brother, but in reality, he's far from stable.

The very interesting part of this novel is when Dominic reveals that his mother gave him his grandfather's long life history. Dominic and Thomas were born after their grandfather's death, and Dominic finally decides to get it translated from Italian and begin reading it. What he reads is interesting; his grandfather tells of coming to America from Italy and working to make his way. Dominic finds his grandfather to be arrogant and horrible, but he continues reading. His grandfather takes us through pieces of Dominic's family history, something that Dominic has had no prior knowledge of, and somehow helps him deal with the anger he no longer wants to have and the person he does not want to be.

One of the things I love most about books are when they get you thinking about things you aren't prone to thinking about. Seldom do I consider my family history and the choices my ancestors made and how they got me to where I am. I rarely ponder the functionality of my brain or the psychology of my life. I know that there are many troubled souls out there, and if we didn't have a few in our own family than who would we be? And who would they have on their side? And most of all, we've got to get through some trying times in this life. Hopefully we can be all the better for it.

Semi Precious Bead Salon

Today Francis and I went to Santa Monica for a nice summer Saturday. The weather was beautiful! Sunny, warm, nice breeze. My Dad gave me a gift certificate to a place in Santa Monica for Christmas and I've finally had the chance to go down there. Well..I've had the chance, but, wanted to make a day of it. It takes at least 30 minutes to get there from where I live with traffic, and today's traffic was horrendous. I seriously hope people who were born and raised in Los Angeles know that this stuff is not normal.

Semi Precious Bead Salon (http://www.semipreciousbeadsalon.com/) is a cute little shop on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica, about five minutes from the beach and Santa Monica Pier. (Again, or 20 minutes with traffic.) It's not a huge space but it's got a great window in the front, currently with photos set up of photographer Gisele Lubsen (http://www.giselelubsen.com/). Lubsen specializes in Conceptual Underwater photography which is incredible and groundbreaking. The photos up in the shop are themed with shots of legends and fairytales, for example, Snow White and Red Riding Hood. Beautiful.

On the tables in the shop are bowls filled with different stones, all organized by color themes. The store has some premade jewelry that you can purchase, but the main idea is to design your own. They have scheduled classes on the art of wire-wrapping jewelry and beading on Saturdays. In addition to the beads and stones, they have different chains to choose from for your jewelry. I would love to go back and have a ring made, but while I was there I designed two necklaces, that I LOVE. One setback, it's quite pricy. Thanks to my dad, I could let my creative juices flow without worrying too much about prices! :D And thanks to the associates at the shop, since I don't know how to make jewelry, they are there to put them together the way you want it. I love them! Quality-wise, the jewelry you walk out with is comparable to anything you'd spend a lot of money on in a boutique or in Nordstrom's.
This place is definitely worth checking out! I feel like a genuine jewelry designer. It's similar to a post-Color Me Mine or Build-A-Bear feeling. Thanks Dad!