Lately I've been having vivid nightmares about the end of the world.
This time, it was the end of the world and I was the only one who realized it, although it was obvious. There were storms and chaos and I just felt it. It was real.
Then my mom and sister were there and got angry with me for some reason, something to do with my personality and choices that I had been making my entire life.
(If I sit here and try to think of details it hurts my head).
So I cried because I felt so alone. And the world just kept on ending.
The other day (in reality) I was in my car at a stoplight and I was just thinking that I had been driving alone for a long time. I began to think about myself and my life at this point in time. And I laughed to myself at how alone and ridiculous I felt. And how, no matter how many friends I hang out with and things that I do, I'm always coming home to my own little lonely thoughts at the end of each day.
Then I looked up at the car in front of me, and they had a bumper sticker that said:
"YOU ARE NOT ALONE." With an American flag and a Star of David behind it.
I'm not Jewish, but just the implication of God was enough to convince me that it was a sign from Him.
I should know better than to push God out of my life, and then wonder why there is a void.
And I should know better than to struggle with destiny and His plan for me. I'm going to quit being stubborn and just live my wonderful life. Pray. Write. Love. Learn.
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