I'm the Hero of the Story, I Don't Need to be Saved

"Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it’s because they sat there that they were able to do it.”
- Up in the Air

I was just laid off my job yesterday. And although the above quote was sort of a bullshit mantra in the movie, I take it quite seriously. I worked for the company for 3 1/2 years, but that is miniscule compared to the time put in by the others who lost their jobs around the country, some 10 years. I am almost 22 and I have been working full-time since I was 17. But I feel very happy to close the door on this chapter of my life.

I loved working with books. Every day was a learning experience and I will always remember those quirky customers with their brilliant suggestions: “Have you read this? The China Study! Meat and dairy are horrible for you! We must eat like the Chinese, they are so healthy! Here, let me write this down for you.”
Another man: “Do you see this book? The Wild Trees. It’s about the redwoods, these trees have been here for hundreds of years. Look at these photos!”
And the other, sillier recommendations by old ladies with their crazy sci-fi romance paperbacks. Most of all, I will miss the customers who have encouraged me to follow my dreams, (believe it or not, there have been conversations long enough to get into this!) of writing and poetry, becoming a novelist, traveling the world, even modeling. I will miss these conversations. I won’t get into the things that I won’t miss, which, in the past year alone, has become PLENTY.

I hope that this was only the beginning of a beautiful relationship with books, and the publishing world.

As for now, I am drinking tea with honey, listening to beautiful music, and looking forward to life ahead. I wish I could bottle up this feeling, because truly, I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I am going to set up my unemployment benefits (California…don’t fail me now!), take a little time and think of where I’m going and what my next move is. But I really feel that whatever has been stifling my creative bug the past few years is now gone. I feel so liberated.

I will close this entry out with this journal entry from the past:

OCTOBER 24th, 2006:
I am so excited! I just got back from an interview at Borders for a supervisor position. The interview went well but I am pretty sure I won’t get it. I don’t think the lady liked the fact that I was young, although I made sure to wear my glasses and tell her about how I wanted to be a writer and about all my favorite books. Haha. I am just proud of myself for getting an interview and i’m going to go on a million more and I’ll be the best interviewee ever! Whatever happens, happens. I’m just glad for the good experience.

-Rhonnie